I Was The Monster I Was Terrified Of

When I was younger I didn’t have a whole lot of self confidence. I would always hold myself back because I was worried about what other people would say. I didn’t want to be judged and it was a constant fear of judgmental people. This led to not wanting to bring attention to myself and being a very quiet person. But that’s when I realized something,  I am the people I fear so much. I would judge people based on what they were doing or what they were wearing. It scared me because I was the monster I was so terrified of.

Being afraid of yourself is a frighting situation. This younger version of me put a lot of thought into this. What was I so afraid of? And why was I judging people so much? Is this what I should be doing? Is it really my place to judge a person I don’t know? I came to the conclusion that I need to change my way of thinking. I had to unlearn my judgmental ways.

This was very difficult because it had become a habit. I did make it happen though, with time and scolding myself whenever I had a nasty thought about someone. Through different experiences I also learnt that you never know what that person is thinking or what they might actually be doing. After all, most of the time you will only see what you to see.

Something else I learnt was that when someone is judging you their opinion is invalid unless you make it valid. My judgmental thoughts about other people were invalid. It was a waste of time and energy to sit there and think bad thoughts about a person. What was the point?

When I stopped judging other people I stopped being so afraid. This journey had taught me that what other people think doesn’t really matter because these people probably had the same problem I had, low self confidence. You judge people because you don’t feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you don’t let other people’s opinions get to you. They just don’t matter anymore because the only person allowed to judge you is you. And even then, treat yourself kindly. Treat yourself they way you would like other people to treat you and of course, treat others the way you’d like to be treated. The only way to boost your self confidence is by loving yourself and the people around you.

Oh and one more thing, this was a quote that I lived (and still live) by:

“Be who you are                                                                                                                                                   and say what you feel                                                                                                                                       because those who mind don’t matter                                                                                                       and those who matter don’t mind.”

Dr. Seuss

~ Little Miss Blogger xoxo

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